


He’s Going For Speed

by heyitsdia0



Series: Quick-writes [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley's Bad Driving (Good Omens), Driving, Original Character - Freeform, POV Outsider, This whole fic is just driving tbh, well...not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:30:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21511087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsdia0/pseuds/heyitsdia0
Summary: “No, that’s not what you want to do. Look, kid, I’ve to send in some...paperwork. And if thisss…. lesson doesn’t go right, or, wrong, or however you humans see things, then I’ll have to actually do something terrible for a change. And I really don’t wanna have to do something terrible.”Maggie shifted uncomfortably in her seat.(..Or, Crowley resorts to spreading evil via a girl, a car, and a driving lesson.)
Series: Quick-writes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693534
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	He’s Going For Speed

Maggie Porter was extremely nervous.  
She wouldn’t admit it to her friends, because quite a few of them had already been driving for a while, but when Maggie turned 17 she couldn’t wait to learn how and show it off, too.  
She’d never gone in for a driving lesson before. She hoped she would have a nice teacher, an understanding one, one who had some experience themselves and knew what it was like to have a nerve-wrecked teen on board.  
That’s only sort of what she got.

***

Sometime before the Non-Apocalypse

On the day of Maggie’s first lesson, she found the car that was marked for her and sat down it. Her driver hadn’t arrived yet, and she was still skittish.  
_Right_ , She thought to herself. _Just a car. Just a driver. Just driving._  
Just.  
That’s all this was - just. It was nothing more than just a drive ‘round a few bends, just a test of what she had learned from the mindless reality T.V she watched, (guiltily, of course) just to see if she was fit for the road.  
This began to consume her; While she sat, a new thought entered her mind, wandering the plane, lingering there for a few moments.  
_Oh my god - What if I kill someone while driving?_  
“Oh, that won’t happen, love. Don’t worry about that.”  
_What the actual hell?_  
Maggie spun around quickly. She hadn’t heard anyone open the door, or knock, or yell at her about politics or Brexit. She hadn’t seen any face walking up the car - nothing.  
Though all of that was true, there was in fact a man sitting beside her. Maggie’s mind was racing, and she gritted her teeth so an endless stream of feelings and opinions wouldn’t roll out.  
The man next to her smiled toothily. Maggie would have blushed, but she was still on edge. He looked like an actor, or maybe someone a teenage girl would dream up or write about lovingly in their diary. To Maggie, he looked like a rockstar, a guy not yet middle aged but nearing there, and desperately unhappy about it.  
Another thought that started rolling around in Maggie’s mind was;  
_How did he know what I was thinking?_  
“How did you know what I was thinking?”  
_Shit_. Maggie covered her mouth, turning slightly red in embarrassment. It wasn’t like this guy was some super hot eternal being who could actually read her mind if he wanted to, right?  
The guy stared straight at her.  
“I’m special. Did lots of...mind reading in the 18t-college. College.” He struck out a hand.   
“Crowley. Anthony J. Crowley.”  
_He wants you to shake it, idiot._  
Maggie took it. It was calloused at the fingertips, and his handshake had a grip to it she had never felt or seen before. And trust me, she had been in several interviews before. His - Crowley’s - topped them all.  
Something Maggie began to take note of was his appearance. (She hadn’t really focused on his wardrobe before, because, hello, his face!).   
Maggie thought she should remember how to describe it in case her brother wanted to hear about the mysterious driver Crowley. His hair was flame red, but that was a pretty standard description of a subsection of ginger Maggie defined as carrot orange.  
He hadn’t taken his glasses off. She wondered if that was an offense. Maybe not - but it definitely showed he never left his punk stage in high school. He was decked out in black; He wore a black blazer overtop of a grey turtleneck, with a very tight pair of black skinny jeans. Maggie felt the urge to ask him how he got dressed in the morning, but thought better of it, because that would probably embarrass the poor guy.  
“Maggie,” She replied, before looking back to the wheel. “Should we get started now, or…?”  
Crowley nodded. “Nn...Yeah, sure, good.” When he turned his head, Maggie noticed a snake tattoo on his cheek, and reminded herself to ask him what it meant when the lesson was over.  
Crowley folded his arms. “M’Kay, Maggie, what’s the first thing you do when you get in the car?”  
Maggie sat a bit straighter, using her _I’ve really studied for this, Can’t you tell_ , voice. “Buckle your seatbelt,” She said, still smiling primly.  
Crowley groaned, and Maggie was sure she could see him rolling his eyes.  
“No, that’s not what you want to do. Look, kid, I’ve to send in some...paperwork. And if thisss…. lesson doesn’t go right, or, wrong, or however you humans see things, then I’ll have to actually do something _terrible_ for a change. And I really don’t wanna have to do something terrible.”  
Maggie shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  
_What the actual fuck?_ was followed by _Oh, hell, he’s gonna freaking murder me_ , and then _Shit, I should stop swearing before I actually go mental on this guy and murder him first._ Crowley only smirked and Maggie sunk into the leather.  
Maggie nodded. “Uh...So what do I do if I don’t buckle up?”  
“Drive.”  
Maggie stared at him blankly.  
“I’ve never driven before. How do I know how to drive a car if I’ve never done it?”  
Crowley motioned her to open her hand. She did, and he placed a set of keys in them.  
“What do you do?” He said, patiently.  
Maggie knew immediately.  
“You turn the key - The ignition, then-”  
Crowley groaned, and snapped his fingers.  
“Drive,” He hissed, and suddenly, everything was in place. Maggie’s foot was on the pedal, the other one not even close to the brake.  
“What the hell?! I don’t know...What?!” The car started speeding up incredibly fast, too fast for her liking.  
Crowley laughed manically. “You’re doing great, kid.” He waved a hand, and suddenly the barriers and cones were lined up in different directions. Maggie wasn’t prepared, and hit all but three of them.  
“We’re...We’re gonna crash, I wasn’t ready!”  
“Oh, sure you were. Speed up a little, I’m enjoying this.”  
“Are you...Are you serious?” Maggie asked incredulously. She could barely take her hands off the wheel even though she (believed) was in complete control.  
Crowley laughed again, bracing the dashboard.   
Maggie had to wonder if he was getting off to this. Surely not - she chided her immature brain for even considering it, but the guy was literally on the edge of his seat, not even bracing himself for any kind of impact.   
_Well, he’s got one thing right,_ Maggie thought. _He is enjoying this._   
“Alright, now go straight,” He said, motioning to a gated area in front of them.  
“Are you kidding me?! That sign literally says ‘ _No students allowed beyond this point without clearance_ ’ with a guy waiting up there to tell you to turn back around.”  
“Yeah, no, I don’t think so. Keep going, kid. You’re doing fine.”  
“I’m doing fine?!” Maggie gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “I’m doing fine?! How can I be doing fine when I’ve hit every barrier, every cone, I’ve broken maybe a law or two because I’m definitely not wearing my seatbelt, and now I’m probably going to kill someone.”  
Crowley sighed. “They know the risks their taking. Besides, you won’t actually kill anyone. I wouldn’t let that happen. Too demonic, for my liking. I’m more of a ‘make a mess of things the easy way’ type of...man myself.”  
Maggie kept driving, now just as confused if not more so, and not in the slightest comforted by Crowleys words.  
Not let that happen? She thought to herself. How can he stop me from killing people?  
She heard a some mumbling from beside her but didn’t question it.  
She drove straighter now, and suddenly the barrier dropped. Maggie stiffened, and told herself she needed more sleep.  
“Alright,” Crowley said, pointing off into the distance. “See the signpost there?” Maggie nodded. “I want you to hit it. Damage the car a bit.”  
Maggie felt a lump in her throat. _This is absolutely wild_ , She thought, and could feel the man next to her smiling proudly.  
“It is, isn’t it? Don’t you feel like you know how to drive now?”  
Maggie looked down at her hands, her grip loosened slightly. She was still driving extremely fast, but it was as if she already knew what to do. She astonished herself as she made each and every sharp turn until she was face to face with the signpost:  
“Okay, you know what to do, kid.”  
Maggie nodded. She had no idea why she was being so obedient - She had never been so compliant in her life.  
The car swerved a bit, and she could hear a loud thump.  
_Bugger, I’ve really done it now_ , She thought miserably.  
Crowley patted her on the back. “Bravo. Gold stars all around. Nicely done.”  
A crowd had started to form around the car. Maggie clutched her seat, biting her lip nervously.  
Crowley muttered something under his breath. “Right. Well, uh, My job is done. People’ll be angry for days now. Not to mention the grumbling that’ll come from the workers.” He grinned mischievously.  
Maggie, still too shocked to say anything, kept her mouth agape.  
Crowley pushed down his glasses. Maggie gasped when she saw what she was pretty sure she saw (At that point, she had seen enough, but this was like icing on the cake) and stared into Crowleys’ eyes. She thought they looked stunning.  
Crowley turned red, but it quickly left in place of a grin.  
“So, uh, I guess when you wake up you'll be...in your room. Asleep. And you won’t remember what happened, least, not all of it, but you’ll have your license. So don’t worry ‘bout that.”  
He rubbed his neck, and the last thing Maggie heard was a _Snap_.

***

Maggie wasn’t sure what had happened when she opened her eyes. She didn’t know what day it was, didn’t know what she had done the day before. And then it hit her.  
“My license…” She groaned, and started getting ready for the day, when she saw the clock read Saturday instead of Friday.  
“That can’t be right,” She muttered, and checked again.  
It still read Saturday.  
“Awesome,” She smiled, and then looked to her desk. She wondered if it would be a good time to finish that art project, but then decided against it when she saw what lay flat on her desk.  
“My license...But..how..” Maggie sputtered, her eyes growing wide. The picture on it was probably the best one ever taken of her, and all the information was correct. She flipped it over to see if it really was tangible, that it was real, when she saw a note taped to the back. It was small, but the writing on it was legible.

_Sorry about putting you through that. Paperwork - Can’t explain on such a small piece of paper. If you need anything at all, Call me_  
XXX-XXXX-XXXX

Maggie gasped.  
_That was real?!_

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve written only one piece of fan fiction before, so please excuse me while I go cry in my corner and hope this is slightly better. I am in love with Outsider POV and I had to jump on the bandwagon after reading WorseOmens POV outsider collection, because they are the freaking master of this stuff. I hope this is somewhat acceptable. Thank you so so so so much for reading.  
> (Ps - I’m a dumb American, so I’m apologizing now.)  
> 


End file.
